web log analysis Confessions of a Promiscuous Top: Numbed

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Numbed

Today I had another evening off, as a neighbor was eager to stay with my mom for much of the night, and of course I took the opportunity to run off and get my dick sucked again. I only had a few hours to myself and really don't have the time, energy, or inclination here to cruise a lot and find the ideal sex partner. So after casting about for 45 minutes or so I settled on a guy who is well over a half hour drive away, a few towns north of here, who looked cute in his pictures (body shots conspicuously missing) and said all the right things. Driving up there I felt ridiculous-- a 40 minute drive for a blowjob! But mostly I'm rather numb... there are so many frustrating things going on, even unrelated to my mom's health, that my brain is rather mush. The constrained free time and opportunity to have some physical release made me feel like a starving man given just a crust of bread, clutching it to his chest; the whole drive up there I was speeding and wondering if I'd get a call that would make me have to go back home. When I arrived the street was pretty dark and it was not clear which house was his. I actually went up to the wrong one first; a big fat dude came out and I thought "Oh, fuck," thinking I'd been hoodwinked by fake pictures, but it just turned out to be the suspicious, dumb owner of the house two doors down, who was suspicious and dumb in the way only a suspicious, dumb Southerner can be. I asked if it was the number I was looking for, and he said no, suspiciously giving me the actual number, and I apologized and realized I went the wrong way at the next house. I made it to the correct house, and the guy was OK if Not As Cute As Picture. But I just needed my dick sucked.

He did a good job. His body was really, really not appealing. But he put in the time and treated my dick right. My usual schtick seemed to be sending him into orbit-- I don't think of myself as a very good verbal-porny talker, and when guys ask me if I'm verbal I cringe a bit and feel like maybe I shouldn't get with them. But halfway through our long, extended session, he looked up from my groin, which he had been eagerly feasting on and rubbing his face all in, and said "I don't get with a lot of guys like you... aggressive, but passionate and affectionate too." Whatever, dude, please don't stop sucking my dick.

After a while he got so hot and bothered he started lubing up my dick and getting it very near his hole, which I had been fingering idly a bit earlier as he sucked me from the side with his somewhat decently round ass sticking out right at my arm's length. I took the cue and shoved it into him and he rode it a bit, then I commanded him onto all fours, mounted him from behind-- his legs were rather long so I had to squat to fuck him properly-- and drilled him hard, twisting atop him like a cowboy on a steer. He was extremely dry inside so this didn't go on for too long. I flopped back, really not wanting to exert myself this much, and he told me to go wash my dick off and he resumed blowing the fuck out of me.

He got into a pretty good groove eventually, tonguing my hot spot just right, and I felt a different kind of numb... the room (which I'd told him on my way up to light with "mood lighting", so it was dark except for candles) faded away and all I was thinking about was my own dick. And then I couldn't stay on that edge any more, and I unloaded in him, as hard as I had hoped. It was a doubly-long orgasm and he made exclamatory hoots with every jet that entered him.

He had asked me what was going on when I showed up, and in a kind of mental exhaustion I'd pretty much told him, and he seemed to want to discuss it, but I had said, "How about you get me off, and we talk about it after. I promise I'm not the kind of guy who just jumps up and leaves." But tonight I really rather wanted to. He was pretty queeny and not all that attractive, though he was enthralled with me all right. I dutifully told him more detail and he made sympathetic cooing noises, but at this point I was making myself pretty depressed. Eventually I knew it had gotten much later than I'd wanted it to and I had to go relieve the neighbor (who is a lovely woman that told me "You have no curfew" but whom I would have felt bad making stay past midnight). I got back around 11:40 and relieved her. My mom is not having a very good night. And I'm not sure I will either. But I did get a little break.

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