Choose Wisely

Tonight was a bust. My partner had to meet his brother for a dinner uptown, so I had the evening to myself. I decided to have a little dinner in Manhattan and see if advertising myself online as being in that location would improve my prospects for hot raw ass. And did it! I had a lot of guys hitting on me as I ate a big gooey Bareburger (ironically enough). Which put me in the dreaded position of having too much choice. Many of the dudes who hit me up and seemed game dropped away in the middle of conversation, never to be heard from again. The most promising dudes were (1) a monstrously built dude with giant meaty buttocks, a Zeus-like slab of torso who was excited and scared by the idea of my cumming in him, about three blocks from where I was wating; (2) a very handsome hung dude who I've hit on a zillion times and who always ignores me but suddenly tonight wanted me to shoot my wad in him, a short subway ride away in midtown; (3) a regrettably frog-faced black dude who had a seriously hot body who was a couple blocks in the other direction from skittish Zeus. I really wanted to fuck Midtown Hottie-- the Built Black Frog had a much hotter body, but I know that face trumps body. But I really wanted to eat out Skittish Zeus's absolutely heroic ass, too, and he had a really hot beard and a nice face. Decisions! Decisions! Why did they all have to hit me up at once?? Froggy and Zeus were easy walking distance. So I played them off each other. Skittish Zeus said "Can you just wait five minutes?" at the critical moment, so I decided he was just too freaked out by all my cum-talk and was not going to come through, so I gave the Built Black Frog a text to get his address. Of course right at that moment, skittish Zeus said ok, I could come over, but only if it "wasn't long and dragged out." Not the way to my heart. I told Skittish Zeus that quickies were not my thing and, figured I'd waited too long to get back to Midtown Hottie, settled on Built Black Frog. He really was not cute, but at least he was eager to take my load and had a beautiful body that would be great fun to pound into the mattress. I trotted over. And was instantly sorry.

He opened the door and his face was about what I expected, and he was very built, but unlike in the pictures, it was an ample, fleshy musculature. He's hairless and with hairless guys, especially Asians and blacks for whatever reason, I need a fairly hard manly body if you're not sporting some hair on your skin. This dude's skin was baby-soft, as smooth as the surface of a balloon, and all the curves were just as round. Not a turnon for me. His mannerisms were very giggly and boyish and bordering on Urkel-like. My heart sank. He led me through his shithole of a Chelsea apartment, which was quite dark except for all the porn flashing on a few screens. Horrible, HORRIBLE house music was blaring. He took off his clothes, and his body was pretty awesome, but still, just too round, too ample, too much, not hard, not manly. Very muscular and yet somehow also feminine. I thought, well, he wants my cum. I can shoot my cum in him. I just gotta get my dick hard and put it in that meaty frame and I'll be golden.

We kissed some but I figured I really needed to just eat that big meaty ass to get stiff. So I pushed him over and went to work. He actually sucked my tongue into his hole somehow; I thought, I can work with this. But that porcelain skin, that cartoonishly round bubble butt, was not making me hard. I started to get that feeling that I might cum even though my dick was limp. He made appreciative noises over the mindless, inane pounding of that horrible, faggy club music. Ay chihuahua.

My dick was swollen enough for me to feed it to him, so I figured I'd see if he could suck me hard. But he so clearly had no interest in sucking dick; he wrapped his hand around it, stuck the very tip in his mouth, and made chicken head movements-- absolutely worthless, the most pathetic head ever. I tried eating him out some more. We shifted positions on his bed and I saw his shape in its full, straining glory from behind-- he was really impressively built, but just not in the way I like. It was hopeless and I told him so. "It's ok," he said, looking at my flaccidness, "it happens sometimes." And he giggled non-threateningly. I rather nonchalantly asked, as I insouciantly pulled on my sweater, "I guess you're not much for giving head, are you?" He giggled that giggle again and said, "Not really." "That's *too bad*" I said pointedly. And I got on the rest of my stuff and left. 

Outside his apartment, I shamelessly checked out all the sites and apps. There were other dudes who had hit me up in the half hour I was dealing with Built Black Frog. One is a very cute guy who wants to blow me tomorrow, "from 1 to 3 or from 5:30 to 8," like some kind of Comcast Fellatio Consultant with an arbitrary, inflexible service window. One is a guy I've been trying to fuck for a year on Scruff, who was so upset to miss my presence in his neighborhood, as he was at the movies with his mom when I texted. And so on and so forth. Maybe I'll try my luck with the Comcast Fellator tomorrow... but I'm really sorry I didn't just go over to Skittish Zeus's and use my sexual svengali powers to draw out the sex for as long as it took to make me feel satisfied-- I probably could have gotten all I wanted but I just like my dudes to be enthusiastic. Or I should have just freakin gone uptown and drilled the really handsome guy. But no! I was lazy and greedy and got nothing in the end. And I've been punished. Will I ever learn?