Offline

So it's been a few weeks since I posted, and some very nice readers have asked if I am OK. I am OK, if very busy. But I am feeling like the lifetime of this blog has come to and end, perhaps only for now, perhaps for good. I have shot huge wads on cum in three dudes since I last posted, and splattered UltraMeat's dick with another. After three years of essentially fucking for an audience, it frankly feels a little strange getting off privately again, without telling however many thousands of readers about it. And weirdly, a little sad. You're not going to hear in detail about the guy who sucked my dick, then with a belly full of my cum told me a meandering story about getting beaten up by his first sex partner and later waking up from coma caused by a car crash to find out his brother was dead, all while massaging my calves and telling me how fantastic they are. You're not going to hear about the perfect round meaty globes I ate and fucked belonging to an incredibly muscular dude who subsequently spent fifteen minutes lying between my legs beating his own huge dick furiously trying to make himself cum in vain while I flicked his nipples and marveled at his incredibly physique. You're not going to hear about the cute tall otter I bagged, an artist and sensitive soul, who was so incredibly into how I fucked him that I almost tear up thinking about it, and want intensely to fuck him again and again, despite my inherently promiscuous nature. I think you would like to hear about these things, and I would like to tell them, very much so after even hinting at them here. But I find I don't have the time to devote to crafting these summaries lately; for months everything I've posted has been a hasty first draft I wrote and never even re-read for intelligibility. Just the desire to get the experience down on paper (or electrons, or whatever I am harnessing here) and then move on to the next experience, all while trying to love my partner and my family and do my crazy job and enjoy the new spring weather that inexplicably started happening after a brutal winter. I've enjoyed talking to the readers who have asked me questions or made comments on the things I post here, and welcome more. In the past I've told anyone who wants to talk to me to post a comment with their email address; I will not publish it but contact you privately. And I'll still do that. But for now, I will continue some radio silence, and explore a bit more the unexpected complexity of having gotten used to making every ejaculatory experience I've had (and even one masturbatory one!) public for so long, and then going back to being a sexual civilian. See ya around.

Bad Day

Today was crappy-- I went out to dinner last night with my sister but knew I had to deal with a malfunctioning computer before the night was over, so when we were done I set up at her house and began doing what I thought was going to be something routine, but which ended up taking hours-- I was up very late, then awakened before five with more issues. I was supposed to spend today taking my mom to the zoo, but instead spent it sleeping late and feeling extremely depressed, as lack of sleep and being put out often do to me. My mom ended up not wanting to go out today, so I left on my own to get lunch in a cute part of town, and try to cheer up. A skinny black kid way north of town who has been after me ever since I got here, wanting me to fuck my load into his tight little body, texted me just after I finished eating; since I gave him my number he's texted me every freakin day begging for milk. I told him I was not really up for fucking because of the night I had, but that he could service my meat if he wanted. He is weirdly polite for an insistent fucktoy-- usually they are rather crass and cranky-- and he asked me if I would mind him hopping on top of my dick and fucking himself with it. I told him "Hey, the dick is yours; if you can get me hard and slick enough, knock yourself out. But I can't promise you a wild, athletic fuck today." He said that was cool, and said he'd jump in the shower. I drove over there and twenty minutes later I left him with a tail full of goo, but it really wasn't me doing my better work.

Motherfuckin Slabs of Meat

Back in my southern home town this week visiting my mom and family, and dealing with the weird cagey guys down here I always do. But on Sunday I started getting messages from a guy in Atlanta who was coming up here for a conference and was unusually enamored of my dick pic. He listed himself as a top, and all of his own pictures on his Manhunt profile were of his OWN dick. Which, I must say, was beautiful to me. Like, wow, I gotta suck on that beautiful. The way it hung down out of his fly in that one picture, the shape of the head-- tapered and missile-like, not like my own fat fleshy head-- the thick cumtube running up the bottom, very prominent along its ideal, truly beautiful length. I suppose he was just about an inch longer than me, but what a fucking inch. That's all it takes to make a dick truly mesmerizing sometimes. And yet here he was whimpering about MY meat and saying he had to taste it had to taste it had to suck it. I suggested we suck the hell out of each other and he was up for it, but you never know with these guys. He kept me warm by messaging me throughout the day yesterday, saying he had a work dinner but wanted me to come to his hotel right after that. And I typically appreciate a guy who can maintain contact like that, but it's also a common tactic among prick teases, so you really just can't tell whether you're being treated properly or strung along shamelessly (yesterday afternoon in fact, I had a kid who wanted me to flood him with my cum leading me on for a few hours, up till the final fifteen minutes before I was free to go fuck him, when he finally went silent-- after saying "Yes I'll be here can't wait").  I had a dinner of my own, taking out to dinner my mom and some neighbors who look out for her. When we were wrapping up at the restaurant I went to the bathroom, took a leak, and texted the guy, fully expecting not to hear back. But he wrote that he was ready and waiting in his hotel room. Well! So I dropped off all the ladies and went over there, and within 20 minutes he was all up in my bush. My dick is soooooo sore from this intense, hour-and-a-half  mutual-appreciation suckfest. He wasn't all that cute and his body was eh but fuck, did I love that dick of his. And fuck, did he love mine. And FUCK, did our two slabs of meat look nice, slicked up, hard and thick and long, pressed together all along their length in my hand, hot spots rubbing together, feeling so fucking good. Very very nice.

Its Own Kind of Sex Act

This afternoon I splattered my semen all over the beautifully hairy, meaty, bordering-on-pudgy but actually unusually exciting body of a man so handsome that seeing him with my dick in his mouth was like science fiction, like a special effect, like something that could only be accomplished by painting my dick bright green and filming it on a soundstage, perhaps hanging from the ceiling by an invisible series of guide wires. Getting that close to a face like that is its own kind of sex act, really; his face was so nakedly that it was its own kind of sex organ. I just wanted to stare at him and stupidly stroke my steel-hard, oozing, helplessly excited dick-- and for a while, I did, as he lay there himself, luxuriant against his pillows, stroking his own very fat, veiny choad, staring right back at me, and saying in a lazy Italian accent, "Oh yeah bud, you're so sexy too, bud," which honestly sounded ridiculous, and helped keep me from feeling like the sole intrusion of imperfection in the presence of his beauty. He is also a top, and improbably hit on me. Until I saw his body pictures I thought he was just too flawless for me to even bother talking to; his shoulders and chest are beautifully shaped and covered with a pelt of hair that looks manicured but is purely natural. I had checked him out a zillion times on different apps and hookup sites, and I guess he finally decided to be the one to speak. I almost felt let off the hook by the fact that he was a top too; I could thank him for the attention, tell him he was nut-zappipngly beautiful but also get to be the one to say no thank you, as I was not a bottom. "Two tops can have tons of fun," he said, and told me my dick was mouth-watering and that he wanted for us to suck each other off. Well, how could I say no? So today I went over to Brooklyn Heights, having taken the afternoon off work for a mental health day, and wow, what a fucking treat, even if I didn't get to put my load inside anyone today.

An Interesting Phenomenon

I left my most recent voluminous ejaculate in the very beefy, hairy body of a sweet, dorkily handsome 27-year-old up in Tudor City last night. He was a bit of a talker but unlike many experiences in the past with such guys, I kind of liked it and engaged with him when he wanted to talk, even as I was mercilessly jabbing at him with my very hard prong. It didn't hurt that half of his talk was about how handsome I was, what a real man I was, how amazing my dick felt inside him, how much he wanted me to cum in him and "make him pregnant" (something that is ridiculous, but I admit it kind of turns me on, so I said "Yeah? You want me to knock you up?" and he said "Yeah, I love my big hard fuckin man." Well, OK.) After I had unloaded my hairy nuts in his rather tight hole, I pulled out and lay beside him and made out with him as he stroked his dick, and ran my hands over those massive, massive, truly beautiful thighs of his, splayed open on either side of his body and flexing as he worked his bone, and then let it slide down between the substantial, beautifully round globes of his ass. I stroked my fingers into the cleft and his asshole was freely oozing part of what I had deposited there; he was extremely wet. When he felt my fingers running through the goo, he put his own hand down there, ran his own fingers through it, and brought them to his nose, inhaling the dank smell of my private emissions and melting into the bed in pleasure and satisfaction. It was a very, very nice athletic fuck.

Blowing My Mind

Yesterday I treated myself to a long lunch out with a friend I haven't seen since before Christmas, I think. And of course, that was the day all the boys decided they wanted me to breed them or jizz down their throats. I think I ended up talking to three dudes on a serious level about hooking up, but timing didn't work out for any of them, because of this big whole in the middle of my day. But not wanting to be a *total* slave to my cock, I turned them down, and had lunch with my friend, and it was awesome and relaxing and fun and we talked about work and hooking up and music and I slowly began to feel like a normal person again after obsessing about nothing but work for the past six months. Once I was back home, I talked to yet another guy, way up in Harlem, another huge black body builder who wants me to fuck him (what is up with that? I'm like catnip for these guys) but who didn't want to come all the way down here if I couldn't spare "a couple hours" with him. My kinda guy, but I couldn't spare that. But it made my nuts tingle to think about putting my dick in someone that hot, and I thought, what better way to enhance the day than with an orgasm? It was warmer and sunny outside, I was more relax than I've been in ages, and I wanted to get off. When the stinky cocksucking artist appeared on Manhunt, I decided, well, let's continue my program of getting off as often as I can without being so fucking picky about new meat every time. So I asked him if he wanted to suck my dick, and he said "sure"-- I generally like guys to be more demonstrative about the possibility of getting some of my fucknectar in them, but we've gone a few rounds so I guess he can afford to be straightforward about it. After our last meeting, he sent me a nice note saying it was particularly hot that time, and I said I could have gone longer, but I didn't know if he was getting tired, and he said he was totally up for sucking me as long as I wanted, he could go for hours. Well, that's music to my ears. So yesterday I made sure he had some serious quality time to spend on my meat, and he said he did, so I trotted over. And I left with my mind shattered into little ecstatic smithereens. I love being edged… but this was being edged into another galaxy.

Lights, iPad, Action!

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I Just Can't Seem To Stop Fucking Dudes

Another day, another ten squirts of my semen deposited inside another very handsome, nicely built dude. Three asses fucked in two days is not my usual MO, and after spending an hour and a half yesterday trying to fuck and then successfully fucking ass, I was not even horny today. But when this guy hit me up on BBRT today I couldn't say no. He had a beautiful meaty body, lightly hairy chest, fantastically full-bodied rear end, and a nice face with a verrrry handsome, full beard. Honestly in the pictures he didn't look terribly handsome to me, but the body was a knockout-- very muscular without being perfect, simultaneously hot enough to turn heads but somehow, I dunno, padded enough to look unintimidatingly beddable by the likes of me-- and he seemed very straightforward, not high or stupid, and eager to fuck with me. And within maybe 5 minutes of him saying hello, I was on a train to Hell's Kitchen to fuck him. And 40 minutes after that, I left him completely soaked inside with my thanks. Lately these have been very efficient fucks! I like it!

Nice Save

Today I took the day off and actually wasn't bothered by work for once. I had some errands to run in another neighborhood, and wanted to relax and read in a new coffee shop somewhere over there, and maybe plow and seed a nice ass-- a little intra-Brooklyn mini vacation. But the day quickly began unreeling as one of those ridiculous days when nothing works out. But in the end an unlikely second chance was offered to me, and I successfully planted my load in a very nice bottom in Jackson Heights. I drove home feeling that awesome all-over fatigued-but-energized feeling I get after a long intense fuck. Ah!

Frot

Yesterday I had the kind of sex I was always having in my 20s, being a still-unconfident little toplet, scrupulously observing safe sex practices and endlessly anxious about losing my erection inside a bubble of latex. These days I rarely bother fucking anyone who insists on rubber-- I forget the last time I did it, it's been years-- and as I was working in the coffee shop in Chelsea (yes, Chelsea) yesterday I approached a nice, normal-but-toned body with a fairly pretty little ass and asked it if it wanted to be plowed and seeded, and was shot down on the raw part, but the owner of the little body unlocked his pictures anyway, revealing one of those faces that I could easily fall in love with. He proclaimed me extremely hot, and said he was rather new to bottoming anyway and from my profile it sounded like I needed someone who could take it for hours, and he "wasn't there yet." I liked his enthusiasm, and I *really* liked his face. So I asked if he'd just like to suck my dick, dry hump, get his ass eaten, have a good time in general. Make no mistake, I really wanted to slide my bare bone in a silky ass and let my seed fly, but a handsome face will get you everywhere with me. And he accepted, and within 15 minutes I had my tongue down his throat and a very stiff boner in my pants.

The Care and Feeding of Cocksuckers

The psyche of men who love to service meat above all else is endlessly fascinating to me. Not guys who are theatrical about submission-- the trappings, attitudes, and cultural shibboleths of Dom/sub stuff has always left me completely cold. But a genuine love of dick, a genuine deep hunger for it, an endless desire to be near a man's erection, sucking it, holding it, smelling it, admiring it-- that gets my attention. I am a top, of course, but I confess I have an abiding love of dicks too-- one of my earliest memories is looking around at all the males seated in the congregation at church when I was 6 wondering what their dicks were like. Not am I alone-- "Guys just love big, hard dicks!" I remember exclaiming to my boss and his wife once, practically pounding the table with my fist and shouting above the din of a crowded art nouveau coffee shop in Lisbon, trying to convince them of my theory why humans have unusually large dongs in the primate world (it's true, look it up!), telling their amused faces that I thought it was the vestige of an earlier, clothesless time when big-cocked males were granted access to all the females by other normally jealous males just so the latter could watch the amazing spectacle, and hence hung proto-humans sired all the children. Even straight men love big dicks, it's just obvious; they certainly are more impressed than most women. Dicks are just fucking fantastic; I love mine. I probably love yours. You'd probably love mine. But you know who *really* loves mine? This guy-- who spent an hour of unashamed ecstasy lost in my groin yesterday, so full of awe and admiration and pleasure that all he could say after was "thank you."  You're welcome, cocksucker! The pleasure was literally mine.

Our Stupid, Stupid World

My boss says I am cursed. I do feel like I have fantastically bad luck sometimes. (Other times I feel quite lucky indeed.) Things gang up on me-- I don't just have an unlikely bad thing happen, I have five of them pile up on me in one day, or three things go wrong and urgently need my attention at the same time, or I break my wrist in the same week my most important colleague quits AND get my credit card canceled too. Well, today the fates were in true form. I woke up to a bunch of emergencies that I wasn't quite sure how to handle, but I did start getting them under control. I always log in to Manhunt and Adam4Adam and other sites and stuff in the morning just as part of my waking-up routine, so I had been on there a while. In a lull, when things looked like they were calming down for work, I checked out Manhunt, and saw that a strapping, brutishly handsome, muscular, big-cocked German guy had emailed me almost an hour earlier, saying I sounded perfect and that he wanted to service me (despite listing himself a top!) and including his phone number as well, all in one message. His profile said he was extremely tactile, which, BINGO. I felt it was too late-- most guys won't stick around for an hour-- and was worried work would flare up again, and also knew that I didn't have the place to myself for long today; my partner was only working in the morning and would probably be home around 1:30. It was still not even 11:30, but honestly I wasn't even horny. But I don't get studly hung touch-junkies begging to suck my dick every day, so I texted him a hello. Amazingly, he instantly texted back, saying he wanted my dick NOW. We negotiated the terms a bit-- he was down in TriBeCa, which isn't too crazy far, but it would take him at least a half hour to get here, so I tried to push him into meeting up later in the afternoon when there would be no time limit. He said it would be better to meet up now. I like now! So I gave him the address and he said he would be here by noon. I felt like I was about to get seriously lucky, but this is my life, and our stupid, stupid world. So instead I was a sitting duck, waiting to be hit with a big sack of what-the-fuck.

Interesting vs Annoying

Tonight I injected my sperm in the accommodating ass of a guy a bit older than me with an unusual face, a huge dick, gigantic hands, and a tiny apartment in the charming, welcoming neighborhood of Bedford-Stuyvesant. It's not what I wanted for myself today; I wanted to have my orgasm in a cute, muscular, sweet-assed thing, preferably at my place in my comfy clean apartment, or perhaps in some glamorous corner of the city I haven't fucked in lately. Fairly early this morning I was hit up by a very muscular, also somewhat older, but reasonably nice-looking guy who was cruising online at the gym, said many annoying things to me like "Meet me naked at the door!" and "Do you have any buddies who can join in!" and "I just like to hang naked!" and "I'm not done yet but will be soon!" I sort of hate how I am-- any one of those things is enough to make the door of frosty rejection begin to swing closed over the gaping doorway of lust, but all of them together just made me ugh. I kept looking at the very attractive meaty bulging body and thinking, why can't I just get over myself? But he just sounded tedious to get with, and wouldn't take me raw anyway, so I guess in his mind we were just gonna "hang naked". So I kinda let him die of benign neglect and searched around a bit more. Of course I got nowhere (and those who are reading closely see that my New Year's Resolution, to take pleasure where I found it, lasted exactly 6 days). Work got busy, my partner came home for lunch, the hottest guys either wanted me to party with them (at 4pm?) or only had a little time left (the internet is full of attractive, horny men who REALLY WANT YOUR DICK IN THEM but JUST DON'T HAVE THE TIME RIGHT NOW HOW ABOUT FRIDAY??). So when I was hit up by this unusual looking dude, I thought, well, I might as well go get my dick sucked, at least, before dinner. He kept refusing to unlock his other photographs, for some insane reason, but said a lot of nice things about sucking me dick until his mouth was sore and drinking everything I could shoot, so I thought, well, let's hop in the car and drive over there and see what we can see. Well, I physically probably would have much more enjoyed rubbing all over the very muscular annoying dude, but this guy was a genuine kind of cool, so I am glad that I ejaculated inside him, instead.

The First Fuck

Well, the six days of seminal fluid I had accumulated in my testicles since my last orgasm just left in the (actually very pretty) hindquarters of a dorkishly attractive but doughy, unskilled, extremely trembly, sweaty, and ultimately unsatisfying bottom. The only thing worth writing about here was his final, intense greed with respect to my cock. I was done squirting in him and wanted to pull out, but he latched onto me, surprisingly hard, with his interior muscles clamped down on my meat and his thighs and calves locked around mine-- I was mounted on him from behind, since I figured the best thing to be looking at while I drilled him would be his pretty, creamy ass rather than his not-very-appealing torso-- and he held me inside him quite against my will, slowly pulsing inside as if to slowly milk the small drops of semen that some deep hidden duct might excrete a few minutes to late to join in the explosive first jets. This was amusing, so I let him tug at my meat like this, sometimes slowly moving to pull out just to see how tightly he would suck me back in or clamp down on me anew. I admit I like a bottom who wants my dick this much. But it was a lackluster fuck in the end, and it almost overlapped with an emergency trip my partner took back home because some toxic cloud of fumes was emitted in his office in the industrial part of Brooklyn-- they missed each other by mere minutes, and the bottom completely disregarded my call and texts to warn me before he buzzed. This being my first fuck of the year, I feel a little superstitious that it will somehow set a tone for the rest of the year. Since I've been blogging my fucks for a few years now, I decided to look back and see if the first fuck of the year was somehow significant considering how the rest of the year went. And what did I find?