web log analysis Confessions of a Promiscuous Top: Eh

Saturday, December 15, 2012


Today I had an experience barely worth writing about, but for completeness' sake I will. A guy I've been trading witty-ish barbs with on various apps like Scruff for the past few months pinged me while I was out and about in the East Village today, buffeted by the hordes of drunken kids in Santa suits that made up this year's Santa Con. (I saw a svelte Mrs Santa in high heeled boots leaning against a wall and vomiting up her pizza awhile her friends held her hair back and cooed gently.) I was idly horny but had no luck in the morning trying to rustle up any talent, and didn't want to waste too much time on a nice day looking for ass, so I gave up to go out and to hunt for some stuff for the house. So when App Dude began writing me again-- he lives in the East Village and must have seen that I was closer by than usual-- I thought he might do for a blowjob. I feel weird on apps asking boldly for raw fucking, like I do on, say, Manhunt-- maybe because I lead with my face on the apps, and the seem less sexually charged than the hookup sites anyway. And with App Guy, with whom I'd talked about fairly normal stuff the whole time, I felt a little uptight suddenly saying "So hey, maybe I should stop by and stick my dick in your mouth." Instead I noted that he'd never unlocked his pix for me on this particular app. He summarily unlocked but apologized for their g-rating, saying, "I'm shy." The unlocked pix were actually cuter/more manly than the main pic, so I was emboldened. He asked for mine, so I showed him my own filthy pic of myself sporting a boner, which he seemed to appreciate. So only then did I ask him if he'd like to blow me, saying, "I'll still be your friend if you say no." But he said yes, and I went over, with a spring in my step.

In person he was still pretty cute in the face, but he was really a little dumpy in the body, and didn't totally give the impression that the pix I saw did. He was handsome but veering into cuddly, which to me is a boner-killer. His apartment was really nice for the East Village, though, and I spent a little while admiring it. He would be perfectly fine for a blowjob, I thought, but I realized on the way over that I was to meet my partner after work in barely a half an hour. I told him I didn't have much time and wasn't sure how he'd feel about me making him suck me off and then running out. He laughed at my gallantry and moved in to suck my face. This seemed promising.

Well, it wasn't. He kissed by thrusting a rigid tongue into my mouth and ramming his face into mine. Kids, seriously, this is NOT kissing. Who teaches people to do this? Does any one of my readers really find this a turn-on? I'd honestly like to hear another side, because to me it's incredibly annoying and weird. I was not gonna get hard from this kind of kissing, though he had a really nice beard, really nice hair, buzzed velvety short on the sides and a little hipstery-long on the top, which I love. Frustrating. He went to his knees and I whipped it out and he sucked pretty nice, but was just too, too intent on deep-throating, hard, which to me also is not very exciting cuz all the nerves are on the other end of my freakin tool. He was basically deep-throating a noodle. I was not getting into it at all.

I really wanted to get off, though. I took off my shoes and pants, hopped on his bed, and assumed the position with my legs spread for his full access, and he plopped down between me and began sucking again. This felt a lot better-- at this angle he was hitting my dickhead's hot spot just right. I also could put my foot into his groin and feel a small but rock-hard dick in his pants. Nothing induces a hard-on like another hard-on. But although I encouraged the right behavior and kept asking for more, he completely ignored my signs and did what he wanted, which was mostly more deep-throating. Almost every cocksucker I've ever had absolutely loves it when I enthusiastically point out a specific act they do which is making me feel good, and is thoroughly happy to repeat it. But this guy was just not taking direction very well. I had gotten thick from the brief period of him hitting my hot button right, but he was still sucking on a semi-soft dick.

He started to look a little panicked at this point, so I pulled out his own dick, slicked up my hand, and started giving him a hand job for his efforts. I seemed to be giving it to him good because he relaxed, laid back in my lap with his eyes closed and his mouth open, and floated into his own little womb of ecstasy somewhere above the ceiling. The feeling of his hard dick in my hand made me stiffen up a bit more, still not all the way but noticeably more. He felt it rustle by his face, I guess, and began sucking again, with a good suction. I felt like he could make me cum, if he would just slow down a little bit and stop with the constant chomping down at the base of my bone. But he did what he did.

I did, however, finally feel myself start to come. It's always a little sad when I come but am not yet fully hard; the cum just oozes out and the pleasure is just not as intense. He'd told me he wouldn't swallow but said he wanted it on his beard, so that's what he got-- thick, toothpaste-like strings of gooey spooge looping all over his gingerish beard. He began shooting immediately all over my calf, hot wet jets that hit me hard.

At least he was having fun!

He wiped me up with a big swat of his hand, in one motion, and spirited it away somewhere-- I didn't see where. My hand and dick were all gooey and my calf was wet, so I sat there trying not to move and get it everywhere. He rushed away, rustled a bunch in various parts of the apartment, and came back with a washcloth. I cleaned up a bit.

We did chat amiably after that some. I have always tried to move the conversation a bit beyond the bantery stuff to something more substantial; he's an artist with a studio near my apartment and I'm curious about his work and what he's interested in and stuff. He always rather seemed to dart away from even basic questions you could have in a chat like that, preferring apercus. But maybe this sad, short encounter is all he wanted, who knows. We had the typical New Yorker's conversation about real estate and I found out what his amazingly low rent (for the East Village) was, but he demurred from even telling me what he'd been reading when I appeared on his radar today. I assume jizzing on a guy's beard from a limp dick is the best way to start a friendship. Who knows if I'll ever hear from him again. Maybe I'll hit him up a little later and see if he'll invite me over to his studio.

Anyway, I got my rocks off and spooged another guy's face. That's something!

I met my partner and we had a very early dinner and walked all around and then had a very late dinner all over again in a hipster-infested pizza place near our home. He looks very handsome and hunky to me lately and my love for him is much deeper than it ever has been. Early on, when we'd opened up our relationship, having bad encounters like this with guys who weren't able to open up much made me realize how lucky I was to have found him at all, and it solved a lot of problems I had with our relationship right away. I have a lot of fantastic sex, but none of it really lures me away from where I really belong. Encounters like this one remind me how lucky I am to have him to come back to.


  1. you aren't off base about the kissing. Some guys are simply weird: I remember being particularly grossed out by a guy who kept spearing his tongue in and out of my mouth in short jabs; quite the buzz kill. And, yes gents, in oral and in anal, the majority of the top's nerve endings are in the head of his cock, not the bottom of his shaft. It's always better when both guys understand that its no fun unless both guys are fully enjoying it and both get off. That requires actually engaging with the other guy.

    1. I honestly would like to hear from someone who actually *likes* this kind of behavior, because I find inexplicable differences like this kind of fascinating. I've been with those tongue-thrusting guys, too-- the worst of all are the tongue-flutterers! Talk about unsexy! But this guy just stuck his tongue in my mouth and left it there, hard and insistent. It's such a weird thing to do, to me. And the complete non-involvement of your lips in a kiss is perplexing; everyone knows you kiss with your lips!

  2. Good post, can I comment on a couple things? Well, I'm gonna anyway.

    " I ask him if he'd like to blow me, saying, "I'll still be your friend if you say no.""

    Fuck. That's funny shit. The question is, will you still be friends if he says yes??? (I guess time will tell.)

    "Who teaches people to do this? Does any one of my readers really find this a turn-on? I'd honestly like to hear another side, because to me it's incredibly annoying and weird."

    I'm with you. I'm not much of a kisser myself, but I prefer a tender approach, not too sloppy, not too firm, and a tentative tongue, that timidly explores, and goes further if met with approval. Not a fan of the immediate tonsil exam.

    " too intent on deep-throating, hard, which to me also is not very exciting"

    Again, I'm on your side. I understand there's a certain pleasure one gets out of sucking dick, so I can't be so one sided as to deny someone that wants his throat stretched, but it does NOTHING for me....maybe I just haven't had the right deep throater. Deep throating is something I endure, not something I enjoy.

    "But although I encouraged the right behavior and kept asking for more, he completely ignored my signs and did what he wanted, "

    Again, I'm always amazed when I think I'm giving the signals of what I like and I get ignored. On the occasions when I suck dick, I CRAVE feedback, but rarely get it. Maybe you and I are the odd men out....so to speak. (cause I'm not even "out!!!")

    "and came back with a washcloth." Well, you gotta give credit, where credit is due. If only all cock suckers included a hot moist towel treatment with their BJs. I guess that's for First Class passengers only.

    Good stuff cool top. Thanks for sharing.

    1. You gotta start kissing slow, for sure. I am positive that at certain points, especially once I'm balls-deep in some cutie, that I'm violating him with my tongue during some intense making out. But that's once the intensity has built up some. I think some people feel that attacking someone shows passion, but to me it's like drinking hard liquor before dinner, or eating dessert first. Totally numbs anything that follows and makes for a short and lame experience.

      The best cocksuckers love it when I tell them what to do. I honestly wonder what goes through some guys' minds when they're having sex. It's like they're overloaded with the idea they're having sex or something, and forget that another person is involved at all.

      I'm glad you liked my post enough to comment on it. Makes it feel a little better to have to post about lame experiences sometimes.

  3. I can't tell if the less than stellar kissing or sucking is just me being weird about preference or his lack of understanding how things work... Like maybe there are so many bad kissers out there because there are so many different likes/dislikes that conflict and pairing up the right puzzle pieces just isn't possible. I'd like to think I'm a good kisser, though. I'm like Explorer Jack in that I like a build up from a tentative tongue before having it forced in each others' throat. And I like a give and take, a guy that's fully present so as to respond to cues when to back off, when to ease up, when to go at it. When the moment is right and things are at its peak, I do have a tendency to suck a guy's tongue into me or his lower lip... I think that's a misstep there sometimes. But at that point, it usually a big sensory affair where I'm pulling into me in a big hug where I want to feel us connect all over and melt into each other. As for sucking, I've honestly have had less experience here than all else (being the one to give head, that is). So I love the cues and direction, but at the same time am at my most self-conscious. I've had guys tell me I'm one of the better ones and also some that seem to really want to fast forward to the fucking. But I do what I like... Slower pace (rapid face fucking doesn't quite work... Let's face it, a throat has more obstacles than an ass... Teeth, the curve before getting into the throat... Much less forgiving), and variation with the majority concentrated on the top two thirds of the cock. Sloppy, but with enough suction. And the occasional deep throat feels awesome (if done right and not the only thing on the menu). I kinda get off on a guy that gags but is so into it he goes back for more...

    1. Everybody's different, and likes different things, and I understand that. In my own blog I guess I get carte-blanche to say exactly what I want. But I know my was isn't the only way... though it's the only way for me :^]

      I love sucking a guy's lips when they are thick and meaty-- very exciting to me. I've read other people complain about that kind of thing, but fuck it's nice. You don't lead in with that, though. I personally am always testing the response of who I'm with and amping up what they like and abandoning stuff that isn't working. I like it when I can tell the other guy is doing the same thing. Sometimes stuff I really don't care for, like very rough sex, will end up being a kind of turnon because of the dance we went through to negotiate that kind of experience. But you gotta start with something good and lead up to it, and it has to feel natural.

      The old saying is that sex is like pizza; when it's bad, it's still pretty good. But I think bad sex and bad pizza prove a different aphorism: There's nothing better than good sex/pizza, and nothing worse than bad sex/pizza.

    2. In my experience, a lousy kisser also gives lousy head. A guy who doesnt understand how to use his mouth is unlikely to work my dick correctly or rim me. I have come to the point of stopping when a guy doens't know what he is doing and telling him hey "hey this was fun, but Im looking for something a little more open,' putting my clothes on and hitting the door. Invisible Man is correct, generally, a gy who likes giving head is interested in discovering what makes the guy moan and relax. For example, I love it when a guy plays my shaft like a wet harmonica - it makes me ragingly hard - and I have no problem telling them or showing them how to do it. I dont often have guys who can deepthroat me but completely agree, if a guy can't or doesn't alternate his tempo and technique, I'll be shooting half-hard as well.

    3. love your stories. You have an interesting relationship with your partner. You never mention your sexual experiences with him. Are you intimate sexually with him?

    4. You know what, Loki, I think you're right. Thinking back to some of the most disappointing experiences I've had with hot guys who can't kiss, they really have largely turned out not to know what to do with a dick in his mouth, either. I'm not sure if the reverse is true-- have I gotten lousy head from a good kisser? I ought to compile a study by combing through my blog to see how the stats fall out! Now I wish I had a longer blog to examine!

      I think it's unlikely, though. The best kissers are just very sensual and tactile in their mouths, and it seems that they would also love to suck a dick and naturally do it well. I myself actually give pretty good head, though I don't do it very often any more, and I know it just feels awesome to have a certain kind of contact between my tongue and the curves and ridges of a dick, just as it feels awesome to explore another mouth with my lips and tongue. Stuffing another mouth with a rigid tongue isn't a sensual experience, and neither is indiscriminate chicken-headed hoovering on a dick.

      I actually personally really like performing the harmonica thing on another dude, especially if he has a really long, beautiful dick with a prominent cumtube. Although I can never do it again, thanks to you, without feeling like the fat guy in Blues Traveler.

    5. Thanks, Anonymous, I'm glad reading about my pleasure gives you pleasure too.

      My partner and I have not had sex in many years, though we are intensely physical with each other and I think that is important in a relationship. We're both tops, though, and he is kinky and I find kink extremely tiresome. The first few years we were together we had very nice sex, but eventually the incompatibility hampered that part of our relationship. But we are well suited in many other ways, and sexual incompatibility just did not seem like a good reason to break up. So we are open, although we don't ask and we don't tell, and respect our time together above any possible hookup we might be missing out on.

  4. There is nothing worse than a horrible kisser. It can ruin everything. I am partnered as well (17 years) and we have been open for the last five. Partly because he commutes during the week to another city (LA to San Fran) and then returns every Thursday for the weekends. It is different with everyone, but I would rather know than not know and he is the same. Sometimes his encounters get me hard, other times not. I do know that he wants to go to bed and wake up with me when we are together though. Are we the ideal couple, probably not, but it works for us and I am glad it works for you. I wish you two the best together (and well apart as well).

    1. Yes. When we first talked about opening it up, my partner rather heartbreakingly said he didn't want to wake up in the middle of the night and finding me not there because I was off fucking someone else. I'd just never do that, or even "slip out for ice cream" and come back an hour smelling like ass. We only fool around when we couldn't otherwise be together, but we prefer to make it so that the other really would never even know it was happening. To us that is respectful, but to others, I know, telling everything is respectful. These things are private decisions that couples make.