web log analysis Confessions of a Promiscuous Top: Fucking When You're Not Horny

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Fucking When You're Not Horny

Today Hot Little Meaty had told me he had the day off. After not hearing from him on Sunday, when I'd hoped to fuck him silly and was extremely hot for it, I wasn't sure if he was a flake, despite having always said all the right things in occasional texts since he drank me down last week. So I didn't approach him about today. But he did reappear, asking if I could come over and fuck him. I definitely wanted to fuck him, but after last night's slightly disappointing session, I wasn't really horny at all. But my mom was doing pretty well today, and it was a nice day, and I felt I could spend the afternoon working outside the house to see how my mom does on her own a bit more. (She conspicuously wore the alert necklace thing today, I guess as a peace offering. That was a great development; I bought her some flowers to thank her.) If I could get away, it would let me swing over there after the gym at lunch and before I got back into work. Somewhat against my better judgment, I told him I would come plow him. I worked out, made my mom and myself some lunch, wolfed it down, showered, and got to his place just a little late. But it didn't go quite as planned. You can't fuck when you're not horny!

He looked nice when he opened the door-- I really do love his compact, meaty body, although on second viewing I realize it's not quite as shapely or toned as it had seemed the first time, when I was out-of-my-mind horny. I'd told him in texts that we'd have to take it kinda slow because my life was really stressful, so when he opened the door for me and we first wrapped ourselves around each other, he did the polite thing and asked me what was going on that made me so uptight. I made out with him slowly in silence for a bit, then patted his stomach and told him we could talk after the fucking. I ran my hands all over him and kissed him slowly, and it felt nice but there was no stirring in my loins whatsoever. My heart sank a bit. But I wasn't going to give up. "Can we go someplace more comfortable?" I asked, as we were still standing in his kitchen in front of the sliding glass door with sunlight pouring in. He led me to the darkened living room where he blew me last time.

There I peeled his clothes off and told him, "Just let me touch your body, man." And I did, slowly, up and down, feeling the small hairs and the swelling meat and soft skin under my hands. His own dick was poking straighter and straighter and he was loving the attention. I was running my beard up and down along his neck. As I felt him get excited, I started getting excited too. So I undressed as well, and we stood there touching each other and kissing. It was definitely helping me relax.

"Can we go to the bed, man? I want to lay on top of you." And I sucked his lips some more. "Let me put my body on top of yours man." He nodded and led me to a bedroom. The whole apartment was pretty tastefully done, actually; not the typical foofy stuck-in-the-90s crap you tend to get down here, but actually relatively trendy and masculine-but-sliiiightly-overrefined. There was a big bed at the end of the room. "My dogs are in my room," he said, as if I realized he had taken me to some sub-standard room instead. I couldn't tell. But when we hopped on the bed, the bedspread slipped all around in a weird way. I wondered if this was on top of some kind of vinyl sheet. Good God, I hope he doesn't let dudes urinate on him in this bed, I thought. I laid back against the big pillows and opened my legs and invited him to feast. And he did, and it was nice. His meaty little body looked awesome with that little ass poking up, all the curves and shapes of his back displayed there for my pleasure. He got me really hard with his mouth.

I laid on top of him and ground into him and his little body felt awesome. Interestingly, he hooked his legs along mine just like the dude last night did. But I was much more into this guy. His ears were still driving me crazy. We were very connected, grinding into each other like this.

I flipped him to eat his ass, and he reacted beautifully, loving having the underside of his nuts licked, and his buttocks and inner thighs gently chewed. Much better than the dude last night! The ass was a little disappointing, though-- it looked great flexed atop his slack thighs when he was on his stomach servicing me, but from this angle with my face in it, it was really just an ass, like a cat maybe has just an ass. But he was so into it I kept it up a bit. And then ground into him some more. All I could think about was getting my dick in that meaty little body.

Unfortunately I was really beginning to feel dehydrated. Coming here immediately after the gym on a rather warm day, into a house that didn't have any AC on, turned out to be a mistake. I was overheating fast, my mouth was not very moist and I couldn't slick my dick up right with saliva, and I felt like I wanted to be sweating but couldn't. So I stopped the festivities, reared up, looked into his eyes, and said, "I hate to do this, but can I get some water? I shouldn't have come here right from the gym, I feel really dehydrated." He smiled and said, "You can have anything you want, stud." He hopped up to get me some water; I asked if he had any juice instead, and he said again, "Anything you want, stud." When he trotted back with some OJ, my dick had deflated a good bit. He handed me the glass, and I drank thirstily for a long gulp, then said, "You can suck my dick while I drink this, if you want." "Oh, I want to," he said, and he put himself back in position and sucked my dick while I drained the glass. There was something very Don Draper about this, somehow, me lax against his pillows with one arm stretched out and the other tipping a highball glass back into my mouth, while he labored away at my tool, although the glass had fruit juice in it instead of bourbon. Still, it was kinda fun.

He get me hard pretty quick, though he was a little overenthusiastic and toothy. He kept telling me how exciting my dickhead was and sucking at it hard. I personally like my dickhead too; I'm glad it's fat and fleshy. His is very tapered so I guess he likes the contrast. I held his meaty shoulders while he worked away at my hotspot, and suddenly I was unloading my not-horny nuts down his gullet. I came a good long time, actually. And he loved it.

Afterward we talked for a long time about what I was going through, and he told me a bit about his partner, who had died in an accident six years or so before. It was a nice honest conversation and maybe was even more relaxing than the blowjob had been. He told me his sister had decorated the place; he seemed way too jocky-normal to put that together, with just the right touches of that rustic-industrial Brooklyn look that's everywhere now, but was rather cutting-edge three years ago when he said she'd done it. He told me we had to fuck sometimes when we could really spend the time; he had to see a personal trainer within a half an hour.

I'm not sure what'll end up happening with this guy; I feel a little defeated after not being able to perform this time. The mind is a strange thing; attraction can be there and then not. I think I'd really rather go have a drink with him than fuck him. If I wasn't horny when I went to his house, I'm *really* not horny now, after two drainings in a row when my head was too foggy to enjoy anything. UltraMeat has resurfaced, asking how I'm doing (I told him the basics of where I am and why), and begging me to cum in him next time we fuck. Begging me for pictures of my dick, begging me to have phone sex with him! This dude is so fucking hot, and he's begging ME. "You have the best dick," he said, which is crazy. But it is extremely flattering. That world of mine just feels a zillion miles away right now. But when I get back, I'm cumming in him. It will be my ultimate conquest. Just gotta get back there, somehow.

For now things are looking up. It changes every day. But my to-do list for setting things up for my mom is growing short, and she is more alive and happy this week than she's been all month. My husband is coming this weekend and I've got arrangements that will let us spend two days together at my sister's house without responsibilities. Things are cautiously looking up!

8 comments:

  1. First, why are you so hard on yourself? How is you having a hot encounter and creaming a guys throat not horny? I get with plenty of guys I don't fuck and we have an awesome time. And the fact that you like this guy as a friend is a huge plus. You are going through a lot with your mom and being out of NYC. Relax and enjoy this guy and don't pressure yourself. Phrase "just a cat's ass." You kill me.

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    1. Thanks man, I have been suitably slapped back into reality by your comment. But I need a real fuck soon or I'm not even going to recognize myself. I've already become ridiculously patient and long-suffering. Now I'm turning into a guy who just gets blowjobs? NO!

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  2. Enjoy your weekend, clear your head, and destress. Here's to hoping you get back to NYC soon, we miss you!


    PS, this comment signifies that I made it! I have read every word you've put out there. It was a fun journey, and I'm sorry it ends (for now) with you in a difficult situation. I know you don't like to communicate outside of the blog, but I wish I could be there for you to talk to when you need it. Hang in there. We're all thinking about you.

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    1. Welcome to today, Patrick! I'll try to start having an active sex life again soon so you can have something to read. Thanks for the good wishes and the diligent following.

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    2. Things are looking up a bit lately, so I think you're right, Invis. It was also nice having my partner here for a long weekend. That really recharged me. We spent almost all day Sunday just snoozing in bed in each other's arms, and eating. God, was that ever nice...

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