web log analysis Confessions of a Promiscuous Top: Gifts

Friday, December 27, 2013


Tuesday night was rather amazing. I am down south again, visiting family. We do our celebrating on Christmas Eve, saving Christmas day for lolling around in bed and going out to eat Chinese food. The party lasted until around 1am, when everyone finally went home. My partner and I had put together a bunch of stockings for everyone, though, and intended to wait around till about 3am, to be sure everyone would be asleep, and make the rounds to everyone's house to put up the stockings for a morning surprise. By 2:30 my partner was totally zonked and bailed out, leaving it up to me to do it alone. I crept out into the cold, clear, brilliantly-starred night and started my rounds. I parked away from one sister's house and rummaged around in the trunk for her stocking while my breath made puffs in the air. I have the key to everyone's house, so I could just slipped in, hand the stocking on her doorknob, and run out again. Unable to resist, I checked Scruff and to see if anyone was around wanting to fuck. I know, I know. But lo and behold, a guy I'd been trading emails with since I got here had just written me around 2:30. He was an almost movie-star-handsome guy, rather rubenesquely built, with a huge ass, very thick arms, a little thick around the middle but in these pix he wore it very, very well. I msged back telling him I was out delivering some stockings to my family, and frankly asked if  he would like to suck my dick when I was done. Then I rid myself of the first stocking. When I got back to the car, he had replied, saying I sounded so sweet, and he would be happy to drain Santa's nuts-- he was not far away. I was feeling very fine as I drove off to finish my rounds. I got to my other sister's house, which involved many stockings for her and her kids. Bigass Handsome Dude and I kept up the banter; I packed up the other four stockings in between texts asking if he would drink down my cum. I think he actually said "Oh la la… how soon will you be done?" and I told him about ten minutes. The family has a dog but I did manage to get in there, heard no sounds of stirring, got everything hung on the stair railing, and ran back out to my car down the street. I felt exhilarated with pulling this off-- her kids are teenagers and it wouldn't be at all surprising to have one of them up past 3. Bigass Handsome gave me his address and I drove over, extremely excited about getting my reward for my giving. He let me in, looked just like his pix, and given the late hour, we went right to it-- I pulled off all my clothes and he did the same and got to his knees and, given how long I had gone without getting off and how turned on I was by having exactly what I wanted so freely offered, I couldn't hold back for long. He was definitely a gifted cocksucker, like he'd promised, turning my rock-hard dick to liquid in his mouth as if by alchemy. He sucked me for maybe ten minutes and I came hard, still standing. It was like he was sucking the cum directly out of my nuts with some amazing pneumatic pump. I know I gave him a big load. We kissed goodbye and I told him I'd have to come back some day and sample that extremely ample ass. How awesome! I got back to my mom's and hung the last stocking on her bedroom door and flopped into bed. This is how it should always be!

Except that this story is a lie.

It's all true up until the part where he gives me his address-- that never happened. To be honest, though he had pursued me rather aggressively for days, something was off about the guy. The particular kind of guy in the picture didn't jibe with the multi-line messages he was sending me on Scruff, his apparently literateness, his eloquence about sex, his interest in how my Christmas was going, his politeness, etc. Dudes like that either ignore me or are all business. But I thought, wouldn't it be awesome if he were cool as well as beautiful? I don't know why someone is up that late on Christmas Eve prickteasing dudes instead of just freakin sleeping. He began to stall when I told him I was done with all the stockings, and said he would rather do it some other time when it wasn't so late (but why write me late and tell me he would like to get together at all??). He wanted to be "on top of his game". I knew I would have some time a couple of days later, when my partner was busy, and he again said this would work out. Not many guys really want to hook up at 3am. I gave him a pass and hit him up later. But when things got specific that morning, and I'd sent him my number for his address, he disappeared completely for good. I was duped! Santa Claus is a dupe.

Also in reality, as I drove up to my first sister's house so early on Christmas Morning, The National's song "Conversation 16" came on, a beautiful unplugged studio version. I'm not a big fan of theirs but this song always hits me deep. As I pulled up to the curb down the street from her house, the refrain "I-hi-hiiiii'm eeevil… I-hi-hiiii'm eeevil…" echoed in the car, and at the very end I killed the engine and felt myself start to cry a little. For whatever reason, despite all the good things I really do try to do, I am often swept with a feeling of being a fundamentally bad person. We were excited about giving things to my family for the sheer joy of it, which is good. And then I go cruising for random sex while my partner's asleep and I'm carrying a stocking full of candy. I have no shame about sex per se, but I also am somewhat idealistic. I often wish I could fulfill some postcard version of fidelity and sexual fulfillment with my partner. Instead, I'm pulling over into church parking lots on dark roads between my family members' houses to get specific details about how this dude was going to treat my turgid penis. And in the end, I got nothing. But it *had* been fun delivering the stockings. I was so wired when I got home from adrenaline and sexual frustration that I couldn't fall asleep till well past 4.

Hilariously, in the morning-- we got up kind of early to try to catch my mother's reaction to her surprise-- we found my mother enraged about what in retrospect was a rather bone-headed choice for a gag gift I'd put in there: flavored condoms. She's quite old but sexually open-minded and has a great sense of humor, but she was completely infuriated by my choice-- I had honestly thought she would find it hilarious, and it really was rather innocuous if a little blue-- and actually said she insisted that we get out of the house. On Christmas morning! She was not kidding. Cowed but also angry in return, we packed up the car between beseeching her to realize it was just a joke and being furious in turn about being turned out like this. My partner had gotten extremely hot under the collar-- I have never seen him yell like that. This isn't the kind of thing that happens in my family much. This was about the worst Christmas morning I could imagine.

Before we packed the last bag or two, she relented, got very emotional and tried to explain her reaction, and told us to unpack and get back inside. I am so glad no neighbors popped out just then to say hi-ho and ask what was going on; she lives in an incredibly nosy, gossipy little complex. I fell into bed for the second time in five hours and felt deeply depressed. This is the stupidest world any deity could possibly design.

Later that day my nephews texted and called to thank us for what we'd done and express wonder at how it was achieved. Turns out one of them HAD been up at 3am, cleaning out his closet to receive the new clothes he got at the party. Somehow I'd done all this while he was up, and just missed him coming downstairs, throwing stuff in the trash outside, and walking back in to find a row of stockings labeled in mysterious handwriting waiting there. He was like, "SANTA IS REAL!" My partner had spent the hours I was sleeping talking to my mom, who seemed to want to repair any hard feelings by acting as normal as possible. We later had our ritual Chinese lunch with one of my sisters.

The next day, we were going to head out of town to meet some friends who are visiting in an adjacent state from out of the country. I had those few hours free, and hit up Bigass Handsome, who had told me he would be around. And as I mentioned, he flaked and went silent. I gave up on him and searched around for someone else, my free time dwindling quickly to an hour. I hit on a self-described submissive guy with a flawless body who was apparently only a mile or two away, thinking it was a waste of time, but I hit on everyone I want to fuck, expecting rejection but sometimes getting acceptance. Amazingly, he said he wanted to suck my dick and drink my cum, and wanted to know how far away I was. He unlocked a very good-looking face pic, a bit boyish and serious, but very symmetrical and clear and attractive. I couldn't believe my luck here and expected more prickteasing. But he texted my cell with his address just as I'd asked, and I was at his place five minutes later.

His pictures did not lie one whit. He answered the door in a tight black tank top that showed off his massive shoulders, arms, and pecs-- complete with beautifully positioned eraser-type nips-- and tight black sweat pants that showed off his thick thighs, awe-inspiring badonkadonk, sweet narrow hipbones, and decent package. He smiled radiantly at me when the door opened, and said "Wow, this worked out well!" I pushed my way in and wrapped my arms around his sweet, hot little body and leaned in to kiss him. He immediately turned his head. This is how you can tell I'm not lying to fuck with your mind this time-- it can't be perfect, can it? We are trapped in this fallen world. So instead I sucked his neck and felt up his ass and grabbed those hip bones and pulled him to me, taking the awesome gift he *was* willing to give. He kept groping at my groin, which, owing to the no-kissing thing, was rather dormant. But he didn't act disappointed. He just let me suck on his neck and kind of swayed his beautiful muscular body from side to side.

As I kneaded his buttocks, I said, "I might have to eat out this ass a bit before you suck me," and again he demurred. "This was kind of sudden," he said, "and I haven't had time to take a shower." Fuck!

So now I'm there before this beautiful specimen with a noodle dick and no way to inflate it. I bravely pulled down my pants anyway, exposing this sad little worm, and said, "Well then, get to your knees and suck my dick. Start off nice and slow for me." And he obeyed, and wiggled my dingaling around in his mouth a good bit, apparently trying to figure out what to do with this thing. It is sometimes a humiliating thing to be grower instead of a shower. But again, he didn't seem panicked; he treated it sort of like a toy. I said, "Suck the dickhead," and he instantly focused there, and when he swiped it just right with his tongue and felt my body jolt, he was very happy with the reaction, and did it over and over. "Gooooood boooooy," I cooed, holding his head by his beautifully formed ears, and he looked up at me, saw me staring at him intently, and quickly looked back down at my dick, and didn't stop. And he felt my dick swelling heartbeat by heartbeat in his mouth, and his body slackened as he felt me get the erection he wanted. Hot damn, he was a good cocksucker! He knew how to please.

I pulled his face up to me and forcefully got some kisses from him, and put him back on my dick. But then I pulled him to his feet, ripped the tight clothes off that beautiful body, and ran my hands over him. His skin was very smooth, and his pubes were totally shaved-- I guess he was very into the boyish thing, but he was so built and nicely hung that it looked kind of good. His nips stuck out enticingly, his dick was not big but hard and straight and topped with a pretty dickhead. He was excited by sucking me and I was happy. We hopped in the bed and rolled around. I slid my dick over his smooth, smooth groin and manhandled those meaty limbs with a head full of magic and wonder. How the fuck did I score this?? I reared up and admired him, and slicked up my dick with a spit-covered hand. He instantly hoisted his legs back, assuming the fuck-me position. And, O fallen world, he had some amazing hemorrhoids going on. Maybe this is why he didn't want me to rim him! I did slide my dick around there-- his ass cheeks were so meaty and round and deep and smooth that my dick practically shuddered with pleasure sliding around down there, and when I pushed with my hand to try to enter his hole, my dickhead was so sensitive and excited that precum shot out and I felt myself get almost too close to cumming to hold back. I put his legs back down and rested and forced him to kiss me some more, and then stuffed my dick in his face and pistoned in and out of him, doing pushups above him. He sucked with a look of bliss on his face. He was so beautiful down there, hemorrhoids and all.

"I'm going to have to come back and fuck you sometime," I said, and he nodded and pulled my dick back down between his legs. I rubbed the dickhead against him some more but knew I had to stop or I would cum. "Are you going to swallow what I shoot?" I asked, knowing I wasn't going to last long. "I want to see how it looks," he said, "I want a facial." Despite his change of heart, I was happy to oblige. I fucked his head some more and my whole body came. I felt incredible. I pulled out just in time, and five long thick ropes of sperm came out of me. One hit his cannonball of a shoulder. Three hit his upper lip, right under his nose, totally sealing his nostrils with my ejaculate. More went on his cheek. The last five, much feebler shots landed on his chest and his sheets. His eyes were sparkling with amazement; he held his face very still and had his mouth open in both delight and a basic biological need to breathe. "Oh my god, that's a lot of cum!" he said. "You should see yourself," I said. "You're totally splooged." "Take a picture of it," he said insistently. "My phone is in those shorts you took off me." I fished around while he kind of flopped on the bed, his head completely immobilized by what I'd done to him. Somehow he readied his cell phone camera and handed it to me, and I took three shots from flattering angles. He jumped up and ran to the bathroom and admired himself in the mirror. My cum was thick and clung to him the whole time. "This looks amaaaaaazing!" he said, grinning at me hugely. "You made me feel incredible, beautiful," I said, slapping his sweet, sweet ass. He got a washcloth and scraped my fetid goo off himself. "Woooooow," he said. I slid up behind him and looked at him in the mirror and felt his beautiful body up and down. He didn't flinch and let me enjoy him. He said, "Well now you can relax and enjoy the rest of your day!" And it was true. While I got dressed I thanked him and we talked amiably about where in town we grew up, what our plans were for the week, silly things. He was very friendly and so beautiful. Everything was natural and we were both happy with what had happened.

This was the giving I had wanted two nights before. This is what everyone is missing out on most of the time. I don't understand half the people online, what they get out of the meager gruel they prepare for themselves, using fake pictures, talking about things they never intend to do, creating excitement in others that dissipates into bitter disappointment and frustration. But we have this awesome capacity to be open, to freely offer what we have, and enjoy the exchange, the taking and the giving. It's the best thing in life! And it's still so rare….


  1. I think it was late Christmas Eve when I rolled over and I said, rather intently, "I really don't deserve you." And he let out a soft laugh and said that he thinks it's the other way around. I think that made me feel worse. He's insanely faithful and needs the same to feel secure. The one thing I seem to fail repeatedly to provide. Anyway, a really feeble attempt to say, I gotcha.

    1. My partner and I are open, so the fidelity issue is all in my head. Most of the time I am pretty happy with our arrangement and it makes me feel like the king of the world to fuck whoever I want and come home to my handsome, fun husband every night. But I've always been plagued by self-doubt and self-loathing, truth be told. I can criticize myself for anything. And this is what I felt that night.

  2. Interesting... I said the very same thing to MY insanely faithful partner of 18 years. I, also, feel that this is what makes the world go around. We all have special gifts, interests and values that unique to ourselves. Believe it or not, despite my infidelities, we have an amazing relationship and wouldn't have it any other way. Btw, this is not an invitation to rag on those who have different opinions about commitment and sex outside of their relationship. Thanks for a great post!

    1. Thanks for reading and replying, Jack!