web log analysis Confessions of a Promiscuous Top: Redemption

Friday, May 18, 2012


Today I utterly plastered the face of a tall, very cute, bearded young guy, maybe 26 years old-- it was a lot of cum, even for me. It's amazing how a handsome face can really kick my semen production into overdrive. I just got off yesterday in Red Stunner, and was not particularly full. Youngbeard and I only fooled around for 35, 40 minutes, not enough time to build up a real high-pressure load. But when I was done with him, he looked like something out of Alien. I had to admire my own work unabashedly before I got him a washcloth.

But this almost didn't happen at all.

This guy had jerked me around repeatedly in the past. His pictures don't really do him much justice, but he had dark hair, dark eyes, dark beard, and I'm a sucker for that, and he was pretty adamant about getting my dick the first time we talked. Something came up, we couldn't meet, and we went back and forth for a month or so, and finally had something set up. He was going to come by my place after taking a shower.

Now, I am the most foolish man in the world. A big fraction of the guys who "just need to take a shower" before they hook up, especially in the middle of a weekday, are just putting you on the simmer burner so they can shop some more. Since shopping for men online is an infinite pursuit, they are never going to come back to you, and hence will never actually suck your dick. Occasionally someone really does need a shower and they truly come through. But this is a pretty standard stalling tactic. So this guy of course has gone completely AWOL after about 45 minutes, so I give up.

Weeks later, he's hitting me up again. And I tell him I think he's full of shit. He apologizes profusely with some lame excuse, and says alll the right things to get into my pants. Again. And I fall for it. Again. He says he is coming, and never shows. So of course now I'm pissed, but not pissed enough to block him. Because secretly I really want him to get me off. Something about him keeps me hangin on.

This all happened last year sometime. Afterward he would repeatedly check out my profile, and sometimes even say hello and ask if I needed my tool serviced (I like it direct, he always knows what to say, I couldn't block him), but I would always ignore him and delete his messages. After a few months, he quit visiting my profile.

But in the past few weeks he was back, checking me out silently every couple of weeks.

I am the most foolish man in the world. I've had an online presence in some form since 1991, and I've been played by all kinds of guys claiming to be all kinds of things. But I fall for things over and over, give people too many chances, and generally make a big ass out of myself. Part of me just likes to think things are possible, I guess, that things are not as bad as they seem. So when Youngbeard hit me up today, asking if I needed my nuts drained (he did it again! and I didn't particularly *need* a draining until he said that, when I desperately decided I did, by him specifically), I wrote back. I said, "I do need my nuts drained. But you've strung me along twice." He said "Third time's the charm!" and I thought good God, what kind of moron am I. He again did the "just needed to shower" thing, and I said "You realize how hard it is to take you seriously, right?" and he said he would text me when he was done. And ten minutes later, he texted me and I gave him my address, feeling like a chump. And about 20 minutes later he was in my living room, looking very, very cute and young and ever so slightly hipstery. He had great hair, dark and lustrous and thick on the top, buzzed short on the sides. His beard was fantastic, well-shaped but just unruly enough not to look too pretty.

I really wasn't expecting him to show up at all, so I was in a weird way; I had been reading a book about a woman who broke away from her Hasidic roots and had started to fall asleep in the sun. We made out and he kissed really nice, though we kept banging teeth a lot; he was young and bursting with energy and a little fidgety. Said teeth were brilliant white against his slightly olive skin and deep brown whiskers. But I was really just taken off guard by this sudden sexiness, and was not getting hard. He devoured my dick and it felt great, but he was very into deep throating, and I just don't get hard from that. It makes me feel like I'm going to cum really fast, but it doesn't feel intense, doesn't get my dick throbbing. It's weird to be semi-limp and feeling like you're going to cum, but that's what being deep-throated by a handsome guy almost 20 years my junior will do to me.

So I pulled his head out of my lap and went for the silver bullet: I ate his ass. He had a long, obscenely fat slab of what seemed like semi-uncut meat, and balls the size of fucking red potatoes, so his groin was a wonderland of ample delights. His legs were huge and fuzzy and he looked awesome spread out before me like a feast. Whenever I rubbed my face from thigh to thigh across his balls, he yelped and said my beard felt incredible. I took one ball into my mouth and then the other, stunned at the size of them, with trips to his accepting asshole in between. This was really fun. His hole felt so accepting, in fact, that I put my dickhead on it and rubbed it all around, then made a bit of a tunnel out of his ample assmeat and fucked it. I felt my dick penetrating him ever-so-slightly, without resistance, with each thrust. He didn't seem shocked, so I got a little bolder, and got most of my dick in. He was a little dry and my spit didn't have the right consistency today, so I pulled out and put my dick under his groin and humped him that way, licking his ears and neck, and he hiked his ass up into me and moaned and moaned. But when I put my dick back in him some, he asked for a condom, and I felt bad. I pulled out and told him he had a fantastic ass but that I'd leave it alone.

And we humped and I fucked his face and ate his ass some more and laid on top of him and we held each other tight while I ground my dick into his, and he kept asking me if I had a big load for him. I told him I thought I could give him one, and he asked where I would shoot it. I told him I'd like to be swallowed, but he demurred and looked shy. I asked him where he wanted it, and he kind of looked down, and I said "You want me to cum on you?" He nodded and I said "Where? Show me where." And he made vague motions toward his chest, but then said, "On my face," and looked at me with those handsome brown eyes. I kissed him and humped him harder and felt the sap rising, and he got excited because he could tell from the tenseness of my body and the bliss on my face what was going to happen. And I sat up on my haunches and unleashed rope after viscous rope of sperm on him. It was very white and thick, and was all over his beard. He made motions like he wanted more, higher on his face, and I was still cumming, so I squirted smaller bits of cum on his forehead, beside his nose, on his lips. And I told him "Now you cum for me," and he nodded and jerked and jerked, and my cock was still somehow firing, so I got a few splats on his chest. And he did like the last guy I plastered-- he took a little goo and slid it onto his dick and that made him pop instantly. Very exciting to think my cum touching his dick has the power to make him lose control. What a fantastic thing it is to be a man.

He was wowed by my apartment; he lives off in Bushwick with a roommate in presumably a very different kind of place. He was very sweet and good-natured as we chatted about his job and our plans for the night. I asked him what was up with the other times he blew me off, and he was kind of sheepish and clueless and said he is just very easily distracted. Who knows! He redeemed himself, and took the punishment of ten lashes of spooge like a champ. So the universe is set aright, and I can go out and enjoy the beautiful evening without a heavy load between my legs. Sometimes it's good to believe!


  1. I'm so curious about how your mind works! I am the kind of guy that isn't attracted until I get to know you a little, so the few hookups that I've had started with a beer and a quick get to know you session. Then the kissing, sucking, fucking... Yours all seem to start with kissing, sucking, fucking AND THEN a get to know you conversation! It intrigues me that you wait until then to get acquainted and that you have the interest at all when you rarely plan to ever see them again. I like it about you, but I find it confusing.

    1. Well, mostly I think it's incredibly sad and pathetic when two guys show each other a great time with their bodies, and then can't even meet each other's gaze and have a normal conversation once it's over. So I always try to be conversational while we're cleaning up, getting dressed, etc; I've been with guys who totally clam up and act funny and I hate it. So I try to head that off at the pass.

      But I also just feel very voluble and loose and free after I get off, especially if it's with a guy I find really attractive who clearly had fun too. Most of the guys I get with I have very good feelings towards and would happily get with again. The problem with me is just that if sex becomes too familiar, without being otherwise emotionally involved as a boyfriend say, the experience really fizzles for me, which is depressing to experience. And I also find that if I befriend people a lot before the act, I start to put them in a different pile from sex partners. It's best to have hot hot sex first, when they are totally new to me, then talk and get-to-know, then occasionally get together after that, once I've had some time to miss them.

      If you look at my "accounting" post at the end of last year you see I hooked up with quite a few repeats. So it's not like it's important to me just to use a guy up and never see him again. It's important to always experience new men and variety. Subtle difference :^]

  2. It'll probably take me until the end of 2013 to read to the end of your 2012 entries! You are a prolific fucker/writer, my friend!!

    1. I admire and appreciate your dedication, son. I don't even know if *I* could go back and reread them all!