web log analysis Confessions of a Promiscuous Top: Used!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013


Today a big fat dude used me for my thick meaty cock, when I was supposed to be using *him* for his insatiable gullet! WTF!

How did this happen? Well, the devil makes work for idle hands; before we headed out of town, my partner wanted to get in one last workout at the gym in my hometown where he'd paid for a week's membership to get his money's worth. I dropped him off and checked in with the guy who I fucked my cum into last week; he'd been after me last night on Scruff or something asking for a repeat, but I told him I didn't think I'd be able to. But he never replied. I also hit on tall, hairy, nicely built and nicely hung guy (a little too pretty for me, but pretty fine otherwise), who said he wanted to suck me until I was cross-eyed and seemed extremely excited that I could actually cum just from a hands-free blowjob and wanted to be edged. But when I texted him, he said he'd just gone to the gym and wasn't free till I'd be leaving. I hit up another guy who hits me up every single time I go to visit my family, and has for probably 5 years now, and never comes through. But of course his brother was delivering a sofa any minute so no good but wow it would be so hot to get my big fat dick in his hole yaddayaddayadda, full of shit as usual. So all that was left in my dwindling window was this guy who looked chunky, too young, and a little slow in the face, who appeared while I was exhausting this list of potentials. But he was only two miles away, according to Scruff. He said it was his birthday and he wanted some "daddy dick." OK. I told him it was his lucky day, that I hadn't gotten off in almost a week, and he was gonna be the lucky recipient of an explosive ejaculation. He gave me his address and I was at his place in 10 minutes.

He opened the door and was beyond chunky-- he was genuinely globular. The pics were definitely him but were clearly taken several pizzas ago. After remembering how I imperiously lectured my good friend Jack on his log a few weeks ago about only sticking his dick in guys who are attractive to him and deserve his manly gift, I made a quick mental calculation. The calculation had three parts. One: Cum was backing into my brain from my nuts, making it hard to calculate. Two: all the prickteasing of the previous couple of days on these stupid apps had given me bona fide blueballs-- I hate these apps, as they make it too easy to cruise constantly whenever you have an idle moment, and every time someone tells me I have hot legs or that they want to taste my goo, I get a little tingle in my nuts which eventually adds up to mental frailty. And three: Fat chicks give the best head. I decided I could sit back and let him go to town on me and test my theory with a minimum of interaction with him and just get off in him and go. He claimed he had stamina and wanted to swallow me. So I figured I'd let him try. If he could get me hard, and could get the cum out of me, he deserved it in that moment.

So I pushed him to his knees and pulled down my pants. I noticed his dick was already hard and jutting out in his shorts, just from having me in the room: eesh. I wish I was that excitable, but I am not. So he jerked at my tiny, cold, soft dick in a very unappealing way, trying to make me hard. This was clearly not going to work, so I told him to just suck it. And he did.

And he gave really fuckin awesome head. How do guys like this instinctively know what to do, and dozens of beautiful men who clearly get all the dick they want have no fuckin clue? This guy was a svengali. He sucked me in and out of his mouth with no hands and no bobbing and no theatrics-- all just perfect hydraulics, friction, and slipperiness. Every time he inhaled my dong, it got a little harder. I thought, this ain't so bad! I just sat back in this hideous easy chair he had-- otherwise his apartment was pretty nice, except for the country girlie tinge it had; he clearly has a frequent buyer's card at Kirkland's-- and let him suck me bone-hard and oozing. I cooed encouragement and he showed no signs of wanting to stop.

For most of this he was on hands and knees between my thighs, but at one point he put a huge meaty paw on the armrest of the chair. I like big hands, so I rested my own hand on it, thinking it might help me get into it a little more and not just focus on my dickhead.

This was a mistake. He came within a minute of my touching him like that-- I think he'd been working on me for at most 10 minutes, maybe 15. He reared up his hugeness and I saw a very small dick ejaculating into his cupped hand. He ran to the kitchen and cleaned it off for what seemed to me like an inordinate amount of time. Thinking I was God's gift to fat dudes, I sat patiently in the ugly chair stroking my dick up and down with his viscous spit as lube, thinking he'd of course come back for more of my irresistible hotness. But he lingered in the kitchen after the faucet stopped. Without getting up, I called out, "Do you want some more, or are you done?" He called back, with an almost hostile, sing-song tone, "I'm done."

As we say in NYC: Fuck you, you fucking fuck! Fuck that fucking shit! I couldn't believe it. Pwned!

I put my pants back on and got my shoes and jacket in as quickly as I could, in silence, and headed for the door. "Happy birthday," I sang in a similar tone, and slid out.

In the car, I sort of laughed. Turnabout is fair play, of course; I am not God's gift to fat dudes or anyone, really. But though he pursued me pretty aggressively online, as I shopped through my other contacts before settling on him, he never even looked me in the eye when I was finally there with him. And I honestly do think it was just touching his hand that put him over the edge. It's sort of horrifying to me that this kind of thing counts as a sex life for some people. When I was younger I had similar experiences with dudes who couldn't even blame that kind of disconnectedness from their sexual, sensual selves on their looks, either. Egad. Happy birthday, indeed.

I am very superstitious and hope that having an experience like this on the first of the year doesn't somehow set the tone for the rest! But I've still got my load in me, and now it's only even more high-pressure. I hope I can shoot it in someone tomorrow! Whoever does get it is gonna be drenched. Wish me luck!


  1. Hahahaaa, that's funny shit! First of all, thanks for the shout out, and you're right, the irony is spot on! I guess you deserved that, right?

    Actually, I feel your frustration. Never let the other guy cum first, unless you have "the talk." You know the talk...... "you're still gonna get me off, even if you cum first, right?"

    Secondly, the ajective of the day: "genuinely globular."

    I'm going to try and incorporate that into today's speech, at least three times.

    Good post CT

    1. Most of the guys who suck me off don't even get themselves off at all, to be honest. I'm usually better at vetting and pick guys who are really only focused on my dick. But a man has needs...

      I expect a report at the end of the day detailing how many times you managed to say "genuinely globular" and in what contexts.

  2. Been there/done that. It always fries me when the other guy gets off and let's you know "he's done". However, this was a particularly egregious example.

    1. In the end I'm sort of happy not to have wasted a precious, huge load on someone I wasn't really into anyway. Working on getting someone good to put it in even as we speak...

  3. What a fucking douche bag. You were too nice. I would have told him to roll back into the living room and assume his previous position. Particularly since he gave good head. Damn man, that is a total bummer. Get your ass back to NYC. Happy New Year.

    1. Thanks Loki! It can only go up from here. I hope.

  4. I would have been fried too. As a result I would have left a nice present all over that hideous easy chair! LMAO!

    1. Gotta preserve the priceless nectar in the skinbag until a worthy recipient comes along, BlkJack! Although maybe it would have been fun to jizz all over the wall. That kind of stain is very hard to get out.